Frasier

Frasier: I am NOT leaving!

[AFTER HE LEFT]

Martin: What're you still doing with that? I thought you were gonna return it.

Frasier: They wouldn't take it back. All I got was attitude and a cheap glass of wine. Loire Valley my ass.

Martin: What are you gonna do now?

Frasier: Well, they forced my hand. I'm gonna call the police.

Martin: Five-five-five Three-thousand.

Frasier: Thanks, dad. Try to mess with Dr. Frasier Crane, I'll teach them. [Into phone] Hello, yes, uh... Oh, just a second. Dad, who do I ask for?

Martin: Have 'em put you through to the Fine Arts Forgery Department.

Frasier: Right. [Into phone.] Hello, yes, uh, the Fine Arts Forgery Department, please. [To Martin] Dad, they're laughing at me.

****

VOCAB NOTES:

What're: "What are." Very common in spoken English, not in formal writing.

What're you still doing with that: Why do you still have that?

gonna: "Going to." Very common in spoken English.

attitude: idiom, short for "bad attitude," in this case poor service at a store. Usage Example: Mom to teen: "Don't give me attitude!"

my ass: Vulgar. "That's not how it really is." Often used at the end of a phrase when something is the opposite of what it claims to be. Here he's saying that the store was lying about the wine being from the Loire Valley. (Don't use this phrase in front of your mother-in-law.)

forced my hand: idiom that comes from the card game poker. It means he was forced to act.

Five-five-five Three-thousand: In the US, phone numbers are stated with either 7 or 10 digits. If 7, the first three are usually divided from the last four. If ten, the first three are the Area Code, and the number is divided 3-3-4. (Two-oh-six, five-five-five, three-thousand.) In TV shows, most numbers start with 555 because the prefix is not used in real phone systems.

mess with: idiom for bother, annoy, make angry

I'll teach them: idiom, a threat shortened from "I'll teach them not to do that."

just a second: idiom used when asking someone to wait. "Just a minute" is also used frequently. It is used for any short period of time -- not for a literal minute or second. Sometimes you'll hear "sec" for second: "Just a sec," or an even shorter/quicker "Jus' sec."

'em: Them. Common in spoken English.